


A good time

by VenezuelanWriter



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Complicated Relationships, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Moral Dilemmas, POV Alternating, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Post-Season/Series 03 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 14:00:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenezuelanWriter/pseuds/VenezuelanWriter
Summary: Nate didn’t know how to deal with Amaya and the fact that she was staying in 1942. Unless he did. He would go for Ray.





	A good time

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so happy to be posting after 5 months of hiatus! I'm back, guys!!
> 
> Beta'd by the amazing [UpsideAround](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpsideAround/pseuds/UpsideAround/works). Thank you again.

Nate went back on board of the Waverider, digging in his heels on the Zambezi ground beneath him as he did so. He felt tired and broken. Although not in a general way; his pain was located in a very specific part of him: his heart. Pain and longing squeezed it tightly and made difficult for Nate to take deep breaths or form elaborate lines of thought.

Leaving Amaya was so damn difficult… he just wished time didn’t work like it did. That, and faith. The love of his life was a 1942 totem wearer meant to live in a different age — _ her _ age, while he was a 2017 historian (which, by the way, made the whole thing even more ironic).

He was shaken out of his thoughts when he bumped into Sara on his way to his room. The one he used to share with Amaya, of course.

She looked appeased, the rush and excitement of triumph still glowed around her. Luckily, she didn’t ask any questions. She knew him better than that.

It hurt to walk into the room. Her absence was quiet and yet as loud as a hurricane; cold and yet as hot as Mick’s adored fire. The whole ship felt empty; in fact, his whole chest seemed to void if he pictured too long a bridge without her for the meetings or a galley that would only cook Mandazis if he prepared them. She used to be the one munching with those fried thingys at night, so often that he’d by that point learned to love them too.

He knew the most healthy, ideal thing to do was to be somewhere else not that full of Amaya and her essence. Like, maybe, the quarter of a friend of his. Like Wally, for example, who he liked and was great buddies with, of course. Or like… that sweet optimistic and bright friend of his that he might be missing since everything took place between he and Amaya.

Nate walked, somewhat doubtful, to Ray’s dormitory. He took a deep breath at the closed door, then knocked on it. He heard Ray’s distorted voice, probably talking to Gideon. A couple of seconds later, the door slid open.

Because of time travel and  _ reasons _ , Ray was already wearing his PJs. Most of the time, since they were in a timeship and all, it was very confusing to know when it was day and when it was night. They’d discovered a method that worked more than perfectly to decide sleeping schedules, though: arbitrary elections basing on how tired they were.

Ray was sitting on the edge of his mattress. There was a book next to him and Nate could bet Ray hadn’t bothered to use a bookmark but just took a glimpse at the page number instead. Ray shrugged sadly.  _ So understanding, as always. _

“I heard you two already said goodbye to each other.”

Nate nodded and walked further into the room. His feet kept dragging on the floor lazily. He sat on Ray’s bed, next to him. He just wanted to get away from that shitty reality for a moment, but he couldn’t get her out of his head—and even doubted he wanted to. 

“Yeah,” Nate whispered. It was unnecessary but he’d said it anyway. Nate had his glance focused on his lap, then he looked up to Ray’s shiny eyes. They were full of life at the core, even when empathy made them look almost as depressed as Nate felt.

“I’m needing a friend right now,” Nate said.

“Oh, man, I’ve got you,” Ray said, as Nate leaned in to go for a hug, to be held.

He knew Ray wouldn’t let him fall. As he expected, strong and reassuring arms wrapped around him. He sighed heavily, holding onto Ray with sentiment. 

Nate’s eyes watered, but he didn’t cry. He preferred to ignore the emptiness and loneliness he was feeling and let himself be distracted by the flashing memories of the circumstances of the last time he’d been buried in Ray’s shoulder. They’d been naked, for starters, and in that same mattress. It had been a nice stage of their relationship, no doubt, and they’d gotten over it too. 

Now they were friends and only friends. Nate was mourning his breakup with Amaya and he needed a  _ friend’s  _ support. 

Nate kissed Ray’s neck. He couldn’t help it. He wanted to hit himself the second he did it. Ray was still like a statue. Nate knew he didn’t have to take that as encouragement to anything else. Maybe Ray hadn’t realized that was a kiss. He should drop it. They shouldn’t restart something, at least not now.

Fuck everything, Nate thought.

He gave Ray a longer kiss on the same spot on the base of his neck. He pulled back, needing to see Ray’s reactions to what he was doing. Ray’s eyes were dark, his expression blank, however, and his hands still holding Nate’s hanging arms on his shoulders.

*

Ray was a little upset if he was honest with himself. Why did Nate always have to look for his help, his company, his support when he was feeling bad and lonely? Alright, that’s what friends do. But not the only thing friends do. They also share moments of joy and celebration.

Besides the team victories, they almost never hung out anymore to have fun. Ray wasn’t jealous, he was actually happy for his friend living such an adorable love story, but he’d just wished that Nate had handled better his time so Ray wouldn’t feel like he was being pushed aside because all his best friend could think about was Amaya.

Now Nate was there, feeling terrible, hugging him and damn it, Ray can’t help but hugging him and genuinely feeling for him. He can’t help it, that’s who he is. He’s the one that’s always there for people even if people aren’t always there for him.

He’s the one Nate felt free to kiss because he knew Ray wouldn’t protest. Although he should. He definitely should. If he played along, it would be wrong. He was aware of the emotions driving Nate to that: heartbreak and loneliness.

Nate kissed him again and Ray’s heart raced at the act. He gulped, getting his nerves on edge at the picture in his head of making love to Nate right there some time ago when things were very different from how they were now.

Nate pulled back. Ray was speechless. He knew he was the one supposed to say anything, but he was just blank. He didn’t know what to do. Before the silence stretched, he said the first thing that came to his mind.

“You’re only needing a friend?” He asked, passing his hands down Nate’s arms.

Nate shook his head. 

Ray was still mad at himself for going along with the whole thing. He should respect himself a little more and not being always so pleasing. It was no disrespect to do that sort of thing with Nate—but, hell, he was a mess. Moral issues had always been his thing. The worst part was that Nate was aware of it and unstabilized Ray anyway. Ray sometimes considered him selfish.

Ray noticed how Nate’s eyes scanned his face, resting on his lips. Electricity ran down Ray’s spine at the obvious hunger and his mouth automatically parted, welcoming the jumping Nate that kissed him fiercely.

A knot tied in Ray’s stomach. It was full of anguish, anticipation, desire, doubt, and so much craving. He’d missed this so much. Nate, altogether. He was such a great kisser and lover… he knew exactly what strings to pull to make Ray feel like the most important person in the world and at the same time make him see stars of pleasure.

Ray let his heart lead the way to his actions, but the coming and going realization of how wrong the big picture was made him rationally want to stop. Only rationally, because he was having the time of his life pining Nate against the bed while they undressed each other.

Yes, he was definitely in too deep to stop now. And since he had made up his mind about finishing what they’d started, the best thing to do what to shut his brain off in order to at least enjoy the favor he was doing them both.

*

Coming in Ray’s mouth was a blessing. Nate’s fingers had been tangled in Ray’s messy black hair and the fucking sight, holy shit, of Ray going down on him so eagerly and dedicatedly was so beautiful he wished he could frame it.

Ray kissed him afterwards. The taste was gross, but Nate didn’t care. It made their moment intimate, meaningful, real, and he wouldn’t let any fucked up circumstance they might be in to take that away from them.

*

After Ray came down from his high —biting Nate’s neck, hammering him, squeezing his fine superhero ass— and laid in silence and covered in sweat next to Nate, his brain was turned on again.

Which was unfortunate, because he still didn’t know how to feel with himself about what he’d just done. He liked Nate so much that letting him use him like a toy was wrong. Or not like a toy, because Nate still appreciated him, Ray didn’t doubt that. But Nate knew Ray would never refuse to him. And Nate had just broken up with the love of his life! They were both sick, for God’s sake.

“I always have a good time with you, Ray,” Nate’s soft, dizzy voice said. It was a low murmur that kissed Ray’s ears.

Ray’s head went back to blank.

“Me too, Nate. Me too.”


End file.
